Marriage should be kept sacred
By Minister Delita Johnson

In the 21st century if you are happily married and are in a committed, monogamous relationship with a ring on your left ring finger then consider yourself peculiar. It's almost a rare find these days to stumble on anyone who is truly faithful to their marriage. One common line one might have heard years ago, in order to "have respect" for the unsuspecting spouse, was "If you don't tell, I promise I won't."

That age has passed, and I've got news for you. Nowadays swingers and those who participate in polyamory aka "open marriages" couldn't care less about regarding one's marriage. These types of disgraceful "open marriages" are becoming common among Americans. Can you believe there is even a show airing this summer on CBS called Swingers, which will promote and support this sinful lifestyle?

A close friend once said "This world is going to hell in a hand-basket." I am starting to believe that, except the hand-basket is going to have to be a really large hand-basket. It seems as if wrong is being made right because it is self-gratifying, while right is being made wrong simply because it is right, and who wants to follow right these days, right?

Both the swingers and the polyamorist would swear that they are totally different groups, but I see both lifestyles as being full of depravity and immorality. The swingers, who live very normal lifestyles during the week, consist of "married" doctors, lawyers, teachers, and yes, even mothers. They generally "swing" on the weekends. Their weekends can consist of private partying or clubbing and recreational sex. Now get this, this happens without the development of love, affection or personal intimacy. Swingers can decide to either keep their spouse in the dark about what they're doing or they have the option to let their spouse know so that they (the spouse) can participate in this type of lifestyle as well. Swingers "swing" to fulfill their ultimate fantasies. But ultimate fantasies can be fulfilled with your own husband or wife. The marriage bed is undefiled. A swinger's lifestyle defiles and destroys your wedding vows.

Polyamory meaning "loving more than one," allows you to love more than one at the same time. Rules and guidelines must be set before their relationships begin. Poly's believe that since everyone has a say in setting the rules, they are not cheating or committing adultery "because everyone agrees." Their intent is to allow love and affection to flow and exist and to develop growth between all parties involved.

Every poly relationship has its own rules and regulations. The only rule of thumb is that whatever system is set and whatever system works, all members of the group must be in agreement. Most poly folks would tell you that they are happily married (to each other) and that their lifestyle has no effect on their children, even though some of these groups live together and their children have two mommies and two daddies. Some even have three of each. Now tell me that these types of relationships do not confuse a child. Marriage is to be honored by all. A polyamorist lifestyle defiles and destroys your wedding vows.

Will the real role models please rise and take a stand? What do these types of lifestyles teach our children today about the sacredness of marriage? Basically, that there is none. These lifestyles teach our children that marriage is no longer honorable, that it is dishonorable. It teaches them that there is no value in marriage when there is lots of value in marriage. It also teaches them that when they're tired of one, they can run on to the next. Marriage was never meant to be looked at this way. These lifestyles make marriage seem degrading.

Marriage is beautiful in God's sight and was created for one man and one woman. The very first marriage occurred in the book of Genesis with Adam and Eve only; not Adam, his buddy Fred and Eve with her best friend Wilma.

Children need to know that marriage should always be honored and is still the way to go. The old-fashioned way, with the white dress, is the right way no matter what. They also need to know that intimacy should not be a group-shared experience, but it should be a special moment shared only between you and your spouse.

Marriages will always be special and honorable until the end of time!